Is this real life?

Above is a picture of Ezra at Walmart- he's just checking out the merchandise. And a 16 Week Belly picture, people still can't really tell that I'm pregnant yet- but I sure can.

 

I found out from one of Ezra's co-workers that the last woman that came out to Nanning had a panic attack and was on a plane home within three days.  So, as awful as it is to compare myself with some one I've never met. I'm feelin pretty tough. lol

 

Except for…. If it weren't for the gospel and all the tender mercies I've been blessed with I probably would have been in the same boat…..or plane.

 

I'm back In Dahua again this week- and feeling a little better.

 

I'm almost positive I'm the only white girl many of these people have ever seen, it's not exactly a big tourist town. People riding by on their scooters about crash because they're craning their neck to get a look at me walking along the sidewalk----instead of looking forward like good scooterist should.

 

With all these people staring at me sometimes I feel self conscious about the fact that my pants are unzipped to make way for my growing belly, and my humidity affected frizz-i-fied hair is sticking out in every direction (I've yet to find hair spray). Sometimes it's hard not to get envious of all the silky smooth black hair I see around me ( :

 

Maternity clothes weren't really on the list of necessities when I came to China. Honestly at the time I left I was having a hard time thinking about anything other than my nausea. I made no new years goals or resolutions. My only goal was to survive.

 

Now that I've made it here and am surviving, I'm realizing a little projective thinking would have been good. I am hoping that the clothes I've brought will hold me until April.

 

I've had a chance to get out on the town in Dahua a bit more this time. I am starting to feel less nervous about all the craziness that surrounds me. However, every once in a while, I'll have a sort of out of body experience where I actually start to take in what I'm seeing and I think "holy cow, I'm in China, look around, this is soooooooooo nuts, am I still on planet Earth?!"

 

It's crazy, it's weird, and some times it breaks my heart. There are people going through garbage cans all over the place. Most of them are little old ladies. They take the trash bag and sit on curb and go through the garbage one piece at a time. It's so sad and hard to see. I wish I could do something to help them.

 

The more I travel in China the more I realize that I could die at any moment. Did I ever tell you about our cab driver with turrets?

 

Every time he would have a muscle spasm, about every 10 seconds, he would either let off or push the brake or gas pedal and his head would turn back toward us. Um yeah…. Ezra and I were pretty scared. We looked at each other, and silently tried to figure out what to do.

 

Cab driver might not have been his best career choice but he was just doing the best he could. My heart really went out to him. Luckily Ezra figured out that the more we talked to him the calmer he got and his spasms died down. Ezra was so kind to him and I was proud to call him my husband.

 

Little did I know that incident was just the beginning of even crazier traveling experiences. Every time I hop into a bus, cab, van, three legged horse, or whatever it may be, I find myself face to face with my mortality. I can proudly state that I remain calm- I figure if it's my time to go I'll go and I know where I'm going and it doesn't scare me.

 

But I really don't think it's my time- so I have nothing to worry about. When other people in the vehicle, particularyly first timers to China, start to get nervous I tell them that it's not our time to go, and I promise them we'll be just fine. My reassurances don't really seem to help much. I still see their eyes bug out and they start looking for things to grab onto.

 

Ezra and I are headed to Hong Kong again this weekend, we have to get new visas. I'm really thrilled—I've spent a few hours researching where all the good western restaurants are. I know it's pretty pathetic to be so excited to travel to one of the world's most happenin cities just to eat.

 

But I can't help it…I've been eating GOAT----you know the furry little farm animal--I'm not kidding either. The only "western" food in Dhua is a KFC knock off called DFC and it's horrible. I refuse to eat there. I have been getting quite hungry and I've gotten to a point where I'm willing to eat just about anything that tastes even somewhat decent. And surprisingly goat fits that category.

 

I know I've mentioned milk in a lot of my posts- ---I'm pretty sure that stuff is addicting, and I'm pretty sure I'm an addict, and I'm pretty sure I'm having withdrawals. I never thought I'd eat goat meat, and it's really not that bad. So maybe I'd like goat milk too. I'll put that on my honey-do list for Ezra: find Jessica a goat.